Just when you thought I couldn’t get any more classless, I go and post a picture of a baboon’s behind. Or maybe it’s a gibbon. No I think it’s a baboon. ANYWAY, it pretty much summed up the way I feel about crass, commercialized, artificial “holidays” designed to make men feel illegitimate guilt and/or spend unnecessary amounts of money. In case you wanted to know.
With that out of the way, I can let you in on a little secret. Roughly this time last year, when we had an ultrasound that identified my mac’s gender, several people asked me if Jonathan was disappointed that she was a girl. No one asked ME how I felt about having a girl, and truth be told, I was a little caught off guard. I was expecting a boy.
Everyone told me “oh girls are easier,” but that hasn’t been my experience. In our years in youth ministry and now teaching, the boys are straight forward. If they’re mad about something, they’ll tell you to your face. Girls are . . . sneaky, and manipulative. I didn’t like girls when I was a preteen and teenage girl. Honestly, I didn’t like MYSELF when I was a preteen and teenage girl. The thought of raising a girl terrified me.
I tell you this now because (a) I have spent 6 months bragging on my mac, so I’m pretty sure y’all know how much I love her, and (b) today she showed her first sign of that depraved sin nature she was born with. I caught a glimpse of the hard part of parenting. Sleepless nights and poop and vomit and diapers are the tedious part of parenting, but identifying and correcting sin is the hard part.
It doesn’t really matter what she did. I don’t want to get into the habit of detailing her sins in public. What matters is that when she understood I didn’t want her to do it again, she did it again. Y’all it hurt me, like she had forced me to swallow hot lead! I saw sin at work in my daughter and it is MY responsibility to correct it. I can’t put this on anyone else. I had to step up and be the mama.
(BTW, I understand that boys sin too, and I would have had this experience regardless of her gender, but it brought up in me all those feelings I had the day I found out she was a girl. )
You know who I think the wisest man in the bible was? (yes, this is germane) I know the Bible says it was Solomon, but I think it was Manoah, Samson’s dad. Want to know why? He and his wife had no children so they prayed and asked God for a child. When an angel came and told Manoah’s wife that their prayers were about to be answered, Manoah’s response was: That’s awesome. Now tell us how to raise him. (coralie paraphrase.)
I spent 11 years praying that the Lord would send us a child. I’ve spent the last 13 months praying that He’d teach us how to raise her. Today I prayed that he’d help me to have the wisdom to keep praying that every day. And maybe he could send an angel to help me out, like He did with Manoah – what do ya’ think?
