I just had a stunning realization.
Since the last ultra sound, Jonathan and I have begun referring to little Pomegranate as “she”, and our friends inquire after her as Pomegranate (except one friend who calls her Pocahontas Doereen), just as they would inquire after the health and welfare of a child that had already been born. We think of her as a little person with a future and a plan for her life. When we pray together as a family we pray for her, and we are already praying for the man that God has prepared for her to marry.
So it just about dropped me when I realized all of a sudden, that according to law, I would be allowed to abort her. I am most certainly not considering it, but I have also never been able to quantify the term “pre-viable pregnancy.” Until now. I have seen her little heart pumping blood. I’ve seen her arms and legs move, and watched her bounce around. I can feel her when she moves, and I can’t help but think of her as her. But I know that if she was born now she couldn’t survive. In the legal and medical community, that makes her “non-viable”, and thereby legally subject to abortion.
All of the years I struggled with infertility the abortion debate left me feeling like someone who had been punched in the stomach. I felt left out of that discussion like so many others, because I was proof that a lot of women really have no reproductive choices. Because I am a libertarian politically, people would often challenge me on abortion, and my response was always the same: “I differ with the libertarian position on abortion because I believe that abortion is murder, and all murder should be illegal.” I believed it, I still do, and I would be prepared to defend it. But now I think I really understand it.
I am not saying that men, and women who have never been pregnant, are incapable of understanding pre-born life. I’m saying that I personally had a mental assent but I am now emotionally engaged. I can personally quantify some of the terms involved, and it has stiffened, rather than shaken my conviction.