Daily Archives: March 29, 2007

Pregnancy – Such a Diginified Experience

My first question, before I begin telling my story, is this: am I the only person who keeps loosing her maternity pants? I don’t mean in the sense of “Which shelf in the closet?”, I mean in the sense of “What’s that draft on my backside?” Even the Steve Urkel pants can simultaneously touch my bra in the front, and reveal “crack” in the back! I have begun considering wearing them backwards.

And that ladies and gentlemen is the kind of thing my husband reads and says “I can’t believe you blog about stuff like that!”

But the fact is, that pregnancy, which is most cool, and possibly the greatest adventure I have ever been on, is not exactly dignified. It’s lumpy and puffy and a little awkward. And I haven’t even reached delivery – although three years of infertility examinations have given me a taste of the indignity of feet in stirrups while a doctor and a nurse discuss what they’re looking at like your reproductive organs are the transmission of a Ford Edsel.

In a new experience, I was working around my apartment the last few days to get ready to leave for our cold spring break trip. The weather here has been in the high eighties, and on Tuesday, I came home from school, went to K-Mart for traveling supplies, rode my requisite five miles on the exercise bike, then began the process of “pre-packing.” Around 8 pm, I glanced down at my feet, as I scrubbed out a toilet, and thought “Good golly! Who traded my ankles with some old woman’s?” I promptly sat down, with my feet on my ottoman, and my copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting.

One of the things to expect, according to the book, is after a long day on your feet (which Tuesday had been) or a hot day (which Tuesday had been) some ankle swelling (or Edema). The book was very clear. If I still had that old lady’s ankles when I woke up the next morning, I was to call my doctor. Thankfully, I woke on Wednesday with my own ankles back (which, I’ve got to say, had never looked so slender a young to me in all my life) and I’ve been very careful to follow the book’s directions ever since.

Like I said, puffy, awkward but the most exciting adventure of my life!

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