Believe It Or Not, I Really Didn’t Anticipate This

Let’s call this a cross-cultural confusion. As you know I’ve been calling the baby Pomegranate. We have chosen a name for her (and it isn’t Pomegranate – it isn’t even a fruit) but we’re planning to “unveil” it with her when she’s born. Not even my mother, or my sister know the name.

Honestly, when we decided to go with a goofy name during pregnancy it was so that what ever name we chose, everyone would say “Well, thank goodness it isn’t as strange as . . . “. If she had been a boy, her fetal name would have been Polycarp. Either way it’s better than someone we just found out about who referred to her baby as “Cletus the Fetus” for her entire pregnancy.

But there are a few things we didn’t stop to consider:
1. In Canada, most people don’t find out the gender of the their babies. This is very often not even by choice, as a lot of doctors just won’t tell you. Don’t ask me why, ask a Canadian doctor. I have no answer for you.
2. In Canada, baby showers are traditionally held after the baby is born. This is done for a great many reasons, but point 1 factors into it – a pre-birth shower without a specified gender results in a lot of green onesies and no cute dresses or firetruck pajamas.
3. I don’t live in Canada anymore.

So, I’m about to have a shower – on Saturday – before the baby is born. Four people have e-mailed me asking me for the name of the baby so they can have a shower gift monogrammed. It is such an awesome idea, and beautiful way to make the gift a keepsake that she’ll one day remove from a chest and know it was all hers. I love that people are thinking of my daughter personally, and want to personalize the gift for a little person they haven’t met yet. I feel like such a weirdo telling people I love the idea, but could they wait until the baby is born.

First, it sounds like I’m angling for two presents (bring a present to the shower and then another one when she’s born) which I’m certainly NOT doing.

Secondly, I feel like I’m putting everyone out.

So here’s what I’ve suggested, and I’d love to hear from those of you who aren’t coming to the shower if you think I’m being rude.

I’ve suggested that if they really want to have something personalized, they could take a picture of the item, and bring that to the shower. It will be passed around the circle, as shower gifts are, and oohed and awed over, as shower gifts are. Once the baby is born, during those few days or so in between the enamored announcement, and the ability to sit straight on a chair and receive company, they could get the gift personalized, and then they could bring the gift, at the same time as they come to meet the little person for whom it was purchased. Two visits, one purchase. Am I being unreasonable, or unfair?

I ask this for me. Everyone has been VERY understanding, and sweet. No one has indicated anything other than a desire to provide a beautiful personalized gift for me daughter that doesn’t bear the word “Pomegranate” – for which I am sure she will be grateful in twelve to fourteen years. But I would love to know what you think.

Also, having been absent for a time, I’d like to know if anyone’s still hanging around to read my ramblings 🙂

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About Coralie

After 11 years of infertility, I am now a mother to three, a wife of a Presbyterian (ARP) preacher and a struggling homemaker. Welcome to my little corner of the net. Kick off your shoes, put your feet up and join the conversation. View all posts by Coralie

4 responses to “Believe It Or Not, I Really Didn’t Anticipate This

  • oh amanda

    I’m here! I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. It seems like someone who wants to get you a personalized gift loves you and Pomegranate enough so they won’t care! I was wondering if Pomegranate was an internet name or what, I think it’s cute! My sil wouldn’t tell us the baby’s name (she didn’t want us to steal it, I think. Whatever.) so we called him Wilbur. She was not amused. Your way is better!

  • Rustybadger

    I think your approach is very reasonable (and Canadian!) – the only other practical solution would be to ask them to provide a monogram coupon with the gift so you can get it done later, but personally I think that would be a bit…tacky(?).

    One the other hand, what’s wrong with two presents? I mean, you gotta do your best for the wee one, you know. And if that means using all your God-given guile and wits to weasel (remember, weasels are beautiful creatures) as much loot out of your friends as possible, then so be it. You only get a few opportunities in your lifetime to engage in blatant gimme-ism, so enjoy it while you can!

    On another note, the process for leaving comments on your blog is problematic. I have to make two tries at the captcha EVERY time, and the fact that thing opens in a popup is a bit frustrating.

  • Coralie

    I can fix the pop-up but the captcha is just a blogger function. I have the same problem with other blogger blogs. And as I have enough change going on in my life right now, I really have no ambition to change how I blog at the moment. So you’ll just have to be committed enough to do the captcha twice. 🙂

  • Tex

    I have to agree with Badger on this. You are not being unreasonable AND you should take advantage of the opportunity to take advantage.

    Tell them that it is a cross-cultural thing and that as southern state Americans they rarely have the opportunity to engage in such things and therefore should be open to getting two gifts – one for each culture.

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