Never Been Happier to be Wrong

For eleven of our fifteen years of marriage, Jonathan and I worked in some capacity with teens, and in that time there were a few things that we said a lot.  Probably the most common one was, “Where do you think you’re going?” but a very close second was “What’s the point in dating in high school?  It’s not like any of you are dating the person you’re eventually going to marry, and if that’s true, then you’re not preparing yourself for marriage, you’re preparing yourself for divorce.”

Every time we said it we were greeted with jeers and derision from couples who swore up and down that they were going to prove us wrong.  Very often the voices telling us we were wrong had been claiming a year, or six months before that someone else was the love of their life, so the protests did nothing to change our feelings on the matter.

In 2002 a young man with a less than stellar reputation began to come to youth group in pursuit of the Sr. Pastor’s daughter.  We really liked Melissa, so we were even less thrilled at this budding romance than at most; even when Ben proved to us that his character exceeded his reputation, we were as skeptical of the relationship’s duration as all the others.    Several years after Jonathan left that church we saw Melissa and commented to each other that the relationship was clearly nearing its expected end.  By that time we’d grown fond of the two of them, not only individually, but together.  Ben had become a believer and was obviously growing in faith and in knowledge of the Lord.  Melissa was  blossoming into a beautiful, Godly, young woman.   Still,  we assumed that the odds weren’t in their favor.

Fast forward to the Saturday before we left for Missouri.

We drove across the state of Georgia to attend Ben and Melissa’s wedding.

Ben, the young man we saw as an under achiever with a chip on his shoulder, has a Bachelor’s Degree in Biology and Latin, a Master’s in Biochemistry and Molecular Chemistry and has been accepted into an MD/PhD program in Texas.  Not to be out done, Melissa graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Biology and French and will be entering medical school along side her new husband.  More importantly they both love the Lord and are seeking to glorify Him.  Their wedding was Christ centered and it was clear that they will attempt to do the same with their marriage.

They are the rare exception, and I will continue to discourage teens from dating in high school; but when it comes to Ben and Melissa, I have never been happier to be wrong.


About Coralie

After 11 years of infertility, I am now a mother to three, a wife of a Presbyterian (ARP) preacher and a struggling homemaker. Welcome to my little corner of the net. Kick off your shoes, put your feet up and join the conversation. View all posts by Coralie

3 responses to “Never Been Happier to be Wrong

  • AJU5's Mom

    Our current pastor’s wife has a good saying:
    Don’t date until you are ready to get married and don’t get married until you are ready to have kids.

    I am a big fan of group dating and no one-on-one couples for teens – at least through high school – too. We know about a handful of people that got married in college and then got divorced because they changed so much since then. There are the few that do hold strong, but they are not the norm.

    And I would be happy along with you – that sounds like an awesome couple!

  • Kacie

    Hehe, perhaps you didn’t know that Mike and I are high school sweethearts. 🙂 We just discovered that the pastor of our new pca church here in Texas has been married to his high school sweetheart for 12 years. In my mind, it’s less about age, then about loving the Lord, staying strong in Him, and honoring the commitments you make before Him. 🙂

  • Lollie

    I too discourage my young friends from teen dating. But what a lovely story:)

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