This Too Shall Pass. . .

I remember this stage in my other two pregnancies.  I remember feeling like a big chunk of the best parts of me had dried up and become shriveled husks of former creativity.  With the mackerdoodle I thought my life had changed forever and I would never again hear the fictional characters in my head or have a desire to do crafts or play my guitar.  At the time it felt like a fair trade after more than a decade of using those things to mask the pain of infertility.  With the cheesedoodle I blamed it on the stress we were going through during that pregnancy – leaving the jobs we’d had for four years, trying to sell our house, thinking we were moving to seminary within months of having a baby.

I also remember a period almost like an emotional and mental springtime coming when each of them were about 4 months old.  I began to write again, I made crafts, I planted herbs and ivy.   With the mackerdoodle I bought curtains and moved furniture and hung paintings in the house in which we’d been living since days before she was born.  With the cheesedoodle I collected acorns and pine cones and put them in jars.

When I sit and stare at my Kissing Frogs file, knowing where it should go, but unable to make it get there; when I look at the blank walls in the play room, or the projects I’ve meant to do since we moved here, I remember that I won’t always feel this way.

This, too, shall pass.

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About Coralie

After 11 years of infertility, I am now a mother to three, a wife of a Presbyterian (ARP) preacher and a struggling homemaker. Welcome to my little corner of the net. Kick off your shoes, put your feet up and join the conversation. View all posts by Coralie

4 responses to “This Too Shall Pass. . .

  • suzanne

    I hope what I’m about to say is encouraging. After I had #3, I felt better than I had in literally YEARS. For me, each pregnancy got progressively harder (except this one, so far, strangely enough…) and so once I was not pregnant and over the first couple of weeks postpartum, I felt absolutely wonderful. (So wonderful that I overdid it and got sick a few times, but that’s another story.) The difference I felt was so drastic and a welcome relief. The pain/weight/etc. of pregnancy comes on so slowly, I always forget that that’s not what normal is. You’ll feel great very soon, and I’m going to have to remind you not to run around TOO much 🙂

  • Marianne

    Thinking of you, beautiful friend. I think you’re pretty amazing.

  • Tera Montgomery

    Oh, I am so excited that you will soon have THREE little ones to pass on your wonderfulness to!

  • Carole

    Wonderfulness…..what a great word!!!!! and to have it applied to you, by a friend who knows you..wow!!!( I think you are wonderful too, but I AM your Mom)

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