Sharon asked me today if I was still in the “newborn vortex” because my blogging had sunk to almost nothing. I suppose I am. Last week I blamed it on the visit of my parents and my sister, but I haven’t had that excuse since Friday morning, and I’ve only managed to write one post.
In some ways having a third baby is far easier than it was with the other two. My life changed drastically with each of the others. With the mackerdoodle having a first baby after 12 years of childless marriage was a pretty big change and then with the cheesedoodle I became a stay at home mom, Jonathan started working nights at Chick-Fil-A and my life shrank significantly. This time around I’ve been in St. Louis almost a year, which is amazing in itself. I’m not going through any big life changes (that I know about right now) and I’m fairly settled into my life and routine. I have recovered faster from this delivery than the other two and find myself relishing not being pregnant.
But in other ways this is so much harder. When the cheesedoodle was born, I could snuggle with the mackerdoodle when I was nursing and read her a story or watch PBS or something. This time around there just aren’t enough arms to hug everyone who wants to be hugged at one time. This time around there are two older children who want to climb in the bed for a morning snuggle and there just isn’t enough room for a family of five in a queen sized bed. The last two times I had a newborn I was in the process of learning how to manage a home and be a home maker, but I’ve come a long way on that front since the cheesedoodle was born. This time around I’m being reminded that even though I can bend over and sit on the floor and do all of those things I couldn’t do when pregnant, I have a new born and she doesn’t care about my to-do list.
In the end, however, I am just enjoying this moment – this newborn vortex as Sharon called it. The smell of a newborn is one of the most tranquil in the world. I am so blessed to be able to nurse easily, and I really love every part of it. I love the snuggles, and watching the two older doodles delight in their sister, and looking at the tiny little bundle of potential wondering what she will be like in a year, or in three years when I’m packing up this apartment in anticipation of Jonathan’s graduation. I know that this stage is so short, because I’ve been there twice before, and I know that it won’t be long before I’m not in it any more. There will be a lot of time to check off my to-do lists, and achieve my goals. This last “first year” will be gone so quickly and right now I’m enjoying the moments I’m being given.