If the Shoe Sort of Fits . . .

I hate buying shoes. I actually hate shopping period, but I really hate buying shoes. For the most part I buy shoes at Payless but not sandals. Apparently Payless believes that what women want in a sandal is almost twine like strips of flimsy leather. I prefer something more substantial, so I buy sandals at WalMart.

I know, I’m a delicate flower.

My current sandals are at least five years old, all five of which were Georgia summers, meaning hot and long. They have the aroma of a wet dog, a dead one who had rolled in poop and then lay down in the sun to ferment. There were rumors that the Center for Disease Control had declared them biological weapons and were considering a quarantine of my neighborhood, that could extend to the entire city if I wore them for another summer.

Fortunately for the safety of the world my parents gave me a WalMart gift card for my birthday and I bought new sandals with it.

I hate buying shoes. I may have mentioned that.

Old shoes are comfortable and my feet slip into them automatically. They match the tan lines on my feet. The soles are molded to the way I walk and the straps are shaped to the bumps on my feet. New shoes pinch for a little while. Even when I buy shoes that fit, it takes a while for them to become acquainted with my feet and patterns and behavior. I used to be able to just slip on my sandals and go, forgetting they were even on. With my new sandals I was always aware I was wearing them, and they were new and different.

I’ve had them for a week and the last two days I’ve been able to slip them on and forget them. It’s not a long transition, but it’s there. It’s one of the reasons I hate buying shoes.

This illustrates why seminary life has been difficult for me. Every semester has been like having new shoes. The routine and schedule and events keep changing and just when I get comfortable with them and settle in to the new grooves, they change again and I’m back to the pinching, just a little. Just like with my sandals, there aren’t any blisters or rolled ankles to show a truly bad fit, it’s just the rub of change.

Jonathan is finishing up Hebrew in a couple of weeks and while I’ve only just gotten used to our summer schedule, we’re going to be into the fall one in four weeks. A new set of shoes. A new rub in a different place, and then as I build up my callouses and learn how to slip into it, it will be over and new semester will begin.

I used to love change. My goodness, we’ve never lived in a home more than three years, but children need continuity, and part of my job has been to insulate them from the changes and make continuity where there wouldn’t normally be any.

Maybe that is what is causing the rub. Maybe I’m taking the pinching for all of us and it’s making the shoe feel smaller than it has to. Or maybe I’m getting old and set in set in my ways, and the Lord is breaking me of that. Or maybe I’m just over thinking things. I do that some times.

Regardless, my new sandals fit, and I’m happy to wear them, just as I will be happy to settle into the fall semester when it comes.

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About Coralie

After 11 years of infertility, I am now a mother to three, a wife of a Presbyterian (ARP) preacher and a struggling homemaker. Welcome to my little corner of the net. Kick off your shoes, put your feet up and join the conversation. View all posts by Coralie

3 responses to “If the Shoe Sort of Fits . . .

  • Debby Bolton

    The longest I have lived anywhere in 40 years of marriage is 10 years. Yes, I know it is tough, but I am convinced that God knows what is best for us, even when we are uncomfortable with it. I think God has allowed my faith to be tested in some difficult ways; and sometimes, I hate that my trust in God doesn’t comes as easy as it did when I was younger and untested. But maybe, that is ok, because this is the dross being refined away. Smell the roses; enjoy one day at a time; don’t spend too much time worrying about the past or the future. Read Matthew 6. This chapter has helped me through some rough times lately, especially Matthew 6: 25-34. Matt. 6: 34 that often comes to my mind: “Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (NASV) Love you, Coralie.

  • sharon

    SUCH a good description of seminary life!!! totally true. you’re doing a good job!

  • Reflection « Life More Abundantly

    […] short, this is beginning to feel like home. Yes, things still pinch and rub every semester. Yes I miss my Georgia friends so much it hurts some days; but all in all things are beginning to […]

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