In Which Another Mental Myth is DeBunked

One of the things I decided when I was hugely uncomfortably pregnant with the snickerdoodle was that I was going to make more of an effort to reach out to women in their final four to six weeks of pregnancy. I appreciated the meals that came after the snickerdoodle was born, but the people who either brought food or invited us over for meals in those last weeks before she made her appearance are burned forever in my mind as some of my most favorite people EVER!

There aren’t as many pregnant women in my life this year as there were last, but one of them is the wife of one of our associate (assistant? I always get those confused) pastors at church. I hesitated before even suggesting to her that we would like to either bring them a meal or host them here. I guess I’m still holding on to some of those “larger church myths” that have lived so long in my mind – one of which is that the staff of larger churches are far too important and busy and importantly busy to spend time with the little folks, especially little folks who will graduate and likely move on to smaller things in the next three years.

So I hesitated, but eventually sent her a quick email asking if such a thing would be a help.

Tonight they came for dinner.

I can’t say enough how glad I was that I let go of that myth.

We had such a great, easy evening that part of the way through, as we were chatting about something or other I found myself laughing in my head at this idea that these nice, enjoyable, fun people would have turned their noses up at dinner in seminary housing. Turns out that they were real people. Who knew?

All of this reminds me of why I love having people in my home. When we see each other exclusively at church, or out in social situations, we can often think of them as not quite real, but when we’re in one another’s homes we begin to take form as genuine people who do simple things like eat, and take our kids to the potty. It’s how we build community and it’s why God calls us to be hospitable.

Because it turns out we’re all real people.


About Coralie

After 11 years of infertility, I am now a mother to three, a wife of a Presbyterian (ARP) preacher and a struggling homemaker. Welcome to my little corner of the net. Kick off your shoes, put your feet up and join the conversation. View all posts by Coralie

3 responses to “In Which Another Mental Myth is DeBunked

  • Becky

    Shoot – they lived up the hill and your apartments are mansions in comparison 🙂
    Hey – the newsletter was GREAT.

  • melissa

    I love it that even people who think they aren’t real people, actually are. I think, also, that you are one of those families that lets everyone be real, that’s why we all like you so much.

    Not that I’m biased.

    Oh, and an assistant pastor is one hired to help a pastor do his job, an associate is a pastor hired to do a particular job on the pastoral team. Historically, and strictly confessionally, unless you are referring to a temporary student pastor, Presbyterians don’t have assistant pastors. They all hold equal authority as members of presbytery, regardless of their particular role within the church.

    • suzanne

      The other difference between assistant /associate is that at least in the PCA, assistant pastors are hired only by the session and to hire an associate requires a vote of the congregation. That also means that assistant pastors are “easier to fire”–not suggesting pastors are hired for that reason but only the session has to agree to fire him whereas in the case of an associate pastor, it again requires some kind of agreement (not sure of the numbers/percentages required) from the congregation.

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