On Tuesdays I go to Bible study with a friend. Said friend loans her car to Jonathan on Tuesdays so we can all go to Bible Study together so I have the van all day Tuesday. Today I attempted to run some errands with all three children.
It wasn’t an ambitious list.
- Get printer paper and some binders for Jonathan.
- Get a few freezer meals for Jonathan to take with him on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
- Run by the bank machine and deposit two checks.
So I got everyone into the van, and buckled and we make our first stop at Office Depot. It is a first for all of my children and apparently my oldest daughter has inherited my passion for office supplies along with the other long list of things for which she will one day curse me. She went from aisle to aisle saying, “Mama! This is amazing! You hafta see this one! This is so COOL!” At one point she stood in a paper aisle, with her hands on her cheeks saying, “Look at ALL THE COLORS!”
The cheesedoodle had managed to find two pencils and was sitting happily in the cart poking them through the holes, and bringing them back again and when he tired of that, he began to drum on the cart.
The snickerdoodle was hanging out happily in the wrap, looking around at the Office Supply world, probably wondering what all the fuss was about.
Between my spending too long looking for rulers that I eventually did not purchase because they were cheaper on Amazon, and the mackerdoodle’s constant scenic detours through the post-it notes, we spent an hour in Office Depot. As we walked across the parking lot toward the van, I was giving the mackerdoodle and the cheesedoodle the stern talk:
“It is getting late, and we want to go home and have dinner at a reasonable time. Mama has to go to Schnucks. We are going to go in, get what we need and get out. Do you understand? Look in my face. Say yes ma’am. Are we going to ask for any snacks? (solemn head shakes) That’s right, we are getting in and out.”
At that moment we approached the van, and the snickerdoodle looked me right in the face, and began to poop. I watched, in horror, as the entire right leg support of the wrap turned a distinctive yellow. She just kept going and going until I eventually said to the older two, who were by now strapped into their car seats for the quick trip to Schnucks, “We’re just going home. I can’t take the snickerdoodle into Schnucks like this.”
Both doodles looked me in the face and shook their heads solemnly.
And that’s my life right now. Sooner or later, everything boils down to poop.