Fight the Mommy Guilt

Ladies, we’re sinning. We are being pharisees about motherhood and piling all sorts of regulations on ourselves and others that the Lord didn’t ever command, while ignoring the direct commands of scripture. Every where I look lately I’m hearing women crumbling under mommy guilt, and I’m so grieved by it. I think true Mommy guilt (as opposed to genuine conviction and correction from the Lord) stems from two places: the things over which we have no control, and the things in which we have allowed society to build fences where God did not. This is not the easy yoke and light burden Jesus promised us. This is not the abundant life.

So for the next few Mondays I’m going to look at some of the mommy guilt hot spots. I’ll examine the issue, lay out what scripture actually says about it, and give a couple of ways grace can change our guilt to freedom.  Let’s walk in the abundant life of the gospel.

Is there a hot button issue you’d like to talk about?  Leave it in the comments.

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About Coralie

After 11 years of infertility, I am now a mother to three, a wife of a Presbyterian (ARP) preacher and a struggling homemaker. Welcome to my little corner of the net. Kick off your shoes, put your feet up and join the conversation. View all posts by Coralie

9 responses to “Fight the Mommy Guilt

  • april barber

    Oh, I’m super excited about this!!!!!! Can’t wait to read. My hot button issue would be my children’s sleep schedule. I feel guilty when I have to drag my new little man around all morning to keep up with our tasks of life and play time for his big sister when everything I read says he will sleep better if I make him learn to sleep in his bed at home (instead of in his car seat or my arms). I hear comments from onlooking parents (in my head, of course) when I am out and they see my new baby.

  • Tera Montgomery

    Oh I have so much guilt as a Mom somedays! I think I struggle most with the lack of enough creative time….not really sure what that means but I fear they watch too much TV and don’t exercise their minds enough. Also reading to them…I have been miserable at that.

  • Kim Hammans

    Hey Coralie,
    I am excited to read this. I have been thinking a lot about Mommy Guilt and look forward to your thoughts. I struggle with this when it comes to how much time I spend out of the house on school and work. I constantly question if my kids are getting enough of me, if I am connecting enough with them, and in general if I am enough. Blah…. It becomes easy to hear the world’s judgements and to doubt my own understanding of God’s calling on my life….
    🙂 Kim

  • suzanne

    OK, I thought of one 🙂 I often feel a lot of guilt about not homeschooling. Right now I’m fairly confident that it would not be the best situation for our family for various reasons, but there’s still a guilt factor. I think it stems from a larger place of guilt over wanting time away from them.

  • Kaitlin

    Well, I suppose my biggest Mommy guilt thing would be development milestones and whether or not you baby has hit them yet. I know I have no control over when any baby crawls, talks, etc. but I hate the questions. I am never sure if people are just asking to be interested or if it’s a “well, your baby should be doing these things so I guess I’ll ask to confirm it, which means your baby is normal” especially if baby isn’t doing something at a certain age. It makes me wonder if people think that it’s my fault, either because of genetics or choices we (usually I) make for baby.

    But a lot of the above comments apply to me, too, so it’s not that I don’t have any of those issues either =)

  • Tiffany

    I think most of my guilt comes from nursing/weaning. When have I given her enough of the nutrition/emotional attachment that she needs. There are so many different opinions & research varies as well. It’s hard to reassure myself I am making the right decision no matter what I do.

  • Andrea

    I am realizing that one the greatest stumbling blocks that I place in front of myself is the desire to win man’s (as in mankind) approval. Is the fear of man the root of some of our mommy guilt?

  • Betsy

    Oh Coralie this will be good!! There is so much awful temptation for guilt an insecurity. One of my things would be what you feed your family. I just met a gal today who gave up all processed food and even COFFEE and alcohol!! At that point is life worth living?? Hahaha I’m sure I can think of many others too but that comes to mind right away. If I think of another thing that hasn’t been mentioned I’ll come back and leave another comment!! Miss you guys!!!!!

  • suzanne

    I thought of another one 🙂 Spanking! (or discipline in general) I don’t feel guilty about spanking or not spanking, I just don’t like absolutes in discipline, other than God ordains it and we shouldn’t abuse our children. I also feel like I’m really pretty bad at discipline a lot of the time. Sometimes I yell, sometimes I do whatever it takes to get the conflict/noise/annoyment to end. Then I feel guilty when I haven’t gone through the “correct” procedures.

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